Ever been in Love?

Have you ever been in love?
Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.
You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.
It hurts.
Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love. I hate love.

I have felt love twice. I think. Who really knows...

So now I know how much it sucks, but how great it is in the moment.

So I'm holding onto the idea that putting all the pains aside; that some day it will all work out. The sun will shine and there will be no fear no hurt no unsureness no fear. It will all be happy, easy.

But I never claimed to be a realist. In fact I hate 'realism'. What is it? Who can say what they see or feel is real? Or say that others' feel or see or say is not. Love isn't real, and at the same time it is. Painfully and irreversibly real. It may be the only real thing. It the only thing that can cause this hurt, the physical-yet-not pain.

Why love?

We know what will happen. You know. I know. Yet we cling to the idea. It is the only real thing. And the only thing we can't seem to reach.

Okay I'll stop now. 

This is gonna make yos'all think that this is so important. And that's not really what I want. In fact don't read this [too late if your reading this you did just read this]

THEME-I give up already gosh 

*throws something down and stomps out of the room in a fashion perfected by angry 5yr olds*

It's whatever :}