"You've got everything you need -- what are you waiting for? Move forward now."

-well that's from my horoscope from the day presented by dear yahoo...well its bound to mean something.

"When I cry
I close my eyes
And every tear falls down the side
And I pray
With all my might
That i will find my heart in someone's arms
When i cry

the salt inside my body ruins
Everyone I come close to
My hands are barley holding up my head
I am so tired of looking at my feet
All the secrets that I keep
My heart is barely hanging by a thread
Hanging by a thread

I miss you all
I wish I was
With you now
I wish
I was"
--> some lyrics from Jann Arden [no clue who that is but this popped up in a google search once] That seem to really 'capture the moment' I'm having, not to go all wussy on ya but if it works it works.Whatever this song is describing I am feeling right now. I want to find myself, yet I don't think I could handle myself alone. I need someone else to find me and hold us both.
I think my sadness ruins others, or at least ruins me to others. I can't help my self any longer I'm tired and done with all this crap and thinking of everything I can't say. All my life is caught up and barely held within me; ready to fall and shatter on the ground with even the slighted prod. Ready to break.
I want everyone. And noone. I love you all, but my Gosh why can't they just stay away. I want everyone I love. I wish I could be with them and never fall away like I do. I will always wish for them. I will love them. Even when they can't love me.